Apr 15 2017

To my absent friend…

Two weeks ago, my best friend and I, after an evening of chat, a bit of gossip, a lot of laughs and few moans, had put our world’s to right for the evening.

Hugging our goodbyes on the doorstep, a date to repeat the same a month ahead, once I returned from my latest travels, we parted

Now we have parted forever.

My dear, kind and generous friend suffered a massive heart attack last week at the young age of 59.

Our marriages as English girls to Cypriots gave us children who have their origins in both worlds. Her bereft sons had to organise the funeral and Cypriot traditions are that an interment takes place within 24-48 hours. In their grief, they wished to follow the tradition, so the decision was made for me, no chance to race back from the UK to show my last respects.

I must say my goodbye in my own way now. I’m traveling, catching up with old friends from the other side of Europe, a time to re-connect and enjoy the company of those who formed such a part of my earlier life but deep down I’m feeling the loss. I disconnected for a week, choosing to be with my own thoughts. Writing this is a catharsis for my emotions.

She wouldn’t have wanted a fuss. “Stop fussing, I’m fine” I can hear her say as I think of her, my eyes brim and I try hard to stop myself tipping into tears. I know she would be irritated at my grief for her, forever practical she would take every event in her stride.

The memories. Our children born months apart, our struggles in a foreign country to nurture and grow our offspring on our own. Plane rides away from our UK families we supported each other and shared so many happy times, laughter and tears whilst we blundered around trying to be mothers on the job.

We succeeded for our offspring, but not for our marriages. Another shared pain, as they fell apart but we had each other’s shoulders which we gripped quite hard for a few years.

My rock when I went through several years of operations, an ex-nurse, she was the one to hold my hand, be there every day and tell me everything was going to be alright and to buck up.

The years of stress, hard work and a couple of recent accidents must have caught up with her spectacularly to dispatch her so brutally young. I understand it was an attack that would have been a swift ending and I know that’s the way she would have wanted to go, but not quite yet, we still had plans to have old age fun.

I will miss her deeply, my chirpy, cheerful friend and my rock.

Rest in peace Julie Ann…

29 comments on “To my absent friend…”

    • Thank you, Sherry, I’ve just arrived home after a month away and the anticipated loss is hitting me now… I suspect that it will remain with me, she was very much a part of my life. Appreciate your condolences.

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    • Thank you, Clair, your comment is much appreciated. I was away, stunned by the unexpected and I just had to put into words my tribute to my dear friend.

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    • Thank you so much Lindy, your comment was hugely appreciated. I’ve just returned home after a month away and I’m hit with the loss now, my dearest friend, it’s been a difficult day, but life goes on….

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    • Thank you, Kathryn, I just arrived home and I’m feeling a deep loss, she was my dearest friend, the one you called and said “ok, what are you doing now, let’s meet up now” . I appreciate your comment hugely. You are right, the fond memories will outweigh the sorrow…

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    • Thank you Marian, appreciate your comment, I have been travelling for a month and have put this loss away. Now I’m home, I’m feeling the loss of my dear friend, my everyday talk- to, I must be strong, she would be terribly cross if I wasn’t…

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  11. A beautiful and heartfelt eulogy. It brought tears to my eyes. Death seems so unfair sometimes….just plain wrong. Love and supporting warm thoughts to you and Julie’s family. Xxxx

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    • Thank you for your comment, Sue, much appreciated. I’ve been travelling for a month and I kind of knew that I came home my dearest friend wouldn’t be there for that daily contact, that unplanned knock at the door, that shoulder…it hit me hard today, but I did expect it. Her sister will stay with me now for a week, hopefully, we can find comfort together in our memories.

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    • Thank you so much for your comment. I was away, travelling again, just got home and the loss is hitting me now, but I thought it would. She was a huge part of my life and she would be terribly cross if I succumbed to grieving, so the tearful moments are finished with a smile for times enjoyed…

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  14. i haven’t had enough time to look at enough of your many, many beautiful postings, and i’m so sorry to hear of your sudden loss. it takes me breath away and reaffirms the fact that we need to make the most of our time here on earth, because we have no idea of how much time we’ve got.

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    • Thank you, Grace, for your lovely comment. You are quite right and I’m heading forward in that mindset. I really appreciate the fact you took the time to comment. All of the lovely people who reached out to me via our blogging world, well it was just so unexpected, I wrote it because I needed to, I had to eulogize my feelings and I didn’t expect such compassion in the ether world, but, actually it has been so very comforting. Be well…

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